Terrified, but not stopping

I am feeling terrified of the future.  This is a common thread of my life. So much so, that I often find comfort in the terror.  At least if I embrace the fear, then I can usually be certain that I will at least be right about the outcome.  “Ah-ha! See, I knew I would fail. ” Ah… pay off.  I’m right.  “See, I told you I would fail. I told you I’m not good enough. I told you I couldn’t do it.”  Ugh.  Exhausting.

After all of those conversations in my head, I am still not giving up.  Thank you for the encouragement I received from my husband last night and from the filmmaker I met at the BBQ today.  Here are the lessons I have learned this weekend.  Well, actually reminded of… these are things that I know, but must be told repeatly:  1) Be clear on my vision.  Know exactly what I am striving for and why.  Even if I am unclear on the ‘how’.  2) Ask for help.  I will be surprised.  There are people who want to help, support, and contribute.  3) Do not give up.  Even if things fail, then I will move on to what is next.  I will learn from my mistakes and try again.  If it is important to me, then I will keep working towards my vision, my goals.

What’s next:  “The New 30”.  ONWARD!

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