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Morning Pages

For those who are familiar with “The Artist’s Way”, are familiar with morning pages.  It’s a daily exercise where you write 3 pages of unedited, stream-of-consciousness.  It takes about 20-30 minutes, depending on your writing speed.  I am not committed to writing everyday, but in an ideal world, it happens.

Here’s a little excerpt from a couple mornings ago.  It’s a little motivation for myself.  This is not easy to share.  I do not take words like artist or creator lightly.  I need to practice taking my own advice.

Action. Action. Action. Sitting on the couch watching TV is comfortable, but I will be even more comfortable if I get my work done. My creative work. I am an artist. Embrace my creative energy.  My creative power. My creative being. Honor and respect it. It is my channel to the high power. Creation. That is my definition of God. Not a man in the sky. Not a church. Not a religion. Creation is the force. It is behind everything. Embrace the power that is being channeled through you. You are a powerful, creative being!  Lead yourself. Begin there. You know what to do. You know what you need to do, more than anyone else. Trust yourself. Trust your channel to Creation.

 

The Last Page

I just finished reading “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield.  It’s an inspiring little book.  The last page was a good final call to action:

Are you a born writer?  Were you put on earth to be a painter, scientist, an apostle of peace? In the end the question can only be answered by action.

Do it or don’t do it.

It may help to think of it this way. If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and you don’t do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself. You hurt your children. You hurt me. You hurt the planet.

You shame the angels who watch over you and you spite the Almighty, who created you and only you with your unique gifts, for the sole purpose of nudging the human race one millimeter farther along its path back to God.

Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.

Untold Decades

In 1993 or ’94 in Minneapolis, I performed in a play called “Untold Decades” written by Robert Patrick. It was the first time I played a gay character and also during the time of my life when I was “coming out” to family and friends. Robert Patrick was one of the pioneers of openly gay play-wrighting, and at the time, his play felt monumental. Today, at the CMG Film Festival, my short film screened. Afterwards, the Q&A was moderated by Robert Patrick. I admit I felt giddy, being asked questions about my creative project, by the man who’s writings shaped me during a very influential and evolutionary period of my life. I had the feeling of something coming full circle, or perhaps, just a return to the feeling of something meaningful and intentional. Maybe, the feeling of being on the correct path.

 

Terrified, but not stopping

I am feeling terrified of the future.  This is a common thread of my life. So much so, that I often find comfort in the terror.  At least if I embrace the fear, then I can usually be certain that I will at least be right about the outcome.  “Ah-ha! See, I knew I would fail. ” Ah… pay off.  I’m right.  “See, I told you I would fail. I told you I’m not good enough. I told you I couldn’t do it.”  Ugh.  Exhausting.

After all of those conversations in my head, I am still not giving up.  Thank you for the encouragement I received from my husband last night and from the filmmaker I met at the BBQ today.  Here are the lessons I have learned this weekend.  Well, actually reminded of… these are things that I know, but must be told repeatly:  1) Be clear on my vision.  Know exactly what I am striving for and why.  Even if I am unclear on the ‘how’.  2) Ask for help.  I will be surprised.  There are people who want to help, support, and contribute.  3) Do not give up.  Even if things fail, then I will move on to what is next.  I will learn from my mistakes and try again.  If it is important to me, then I will keep working towards my vision, my goals.

What’s next:  “The New 30”.  ONWARD!

Indie-go-go

Yeah, Indie-go-go.  I need to do this.

30 days

I sent out my first email today asking for donations.  Still figuring out this whole crowd-funding thing.  I know it would be best to do an Indie-Go-Go or GoFundMe campaign. I guess I was sheepish, since I’m asking after the film has been completed.  Usually the crowd-funding comes first.  I’m new to this and am over-analyzing.  Regardless, I took the first step and I asked.  [gulp].  I still may set up an Indie-Go-Go this week.  Stay tuned.

The next 30 days will be busy.  This crowd-funding, asking for support, will give me an opportunity to get comfortable in my uncomfortable zone, which means potential for personal growth.  Yay!  Onward.

Action!

Join me as I learn and expand my knowledge and experience in film making.   I am embracing the word “artist” to describe myself.  I am a director, writer, and producer.  I am a painter, actor, singer, lyricist, husband, benefits administrator (by day), and a genuinely good person committed to making the world a better place.

My mission is to collaborate with courageous and talented artists.  To create diverse and unapologetic film and music productions.

My purpose is to inspire others by example; to move people to become the best that they can be.  To encourage others to love themselves and share that love, their truth, with everyone around them.

My focus is on GLBT stories that simply reveal the complexities of our community, our relationships, and of the human experience, and simply, that we all have the same desires and needs.

Welcome to my webpage.